Today (and for the past week or so) I am sick. I have a pretty bad cough and a headache to go with it, and I sneeze very frequently. I have a hard time sleeping and having any willpower to do anything besides lay in bed. It is rare to get sick in the summer, I think, so my only thought is that the air quality here is very bad and is affecting my allergies.
In other news, I am preparing for my Parish Talk, which I will (by God's grace) be giving this weekend at Saint Francis of Assisi in Grapevine, Texas. Please pray for me this weekend, as MPD has slowed down significantly, I really want to inspire these people to learn more about FOCUS and how they can help me change our culture.
After my Parish Talk, I plan on being incredibly busy meeting with all of the people from the parish, so today, I am packing for Auburn. I'm not leaving for a week, but I am packing now so that I can spend all my time and energy having mission partner meetings next week.
The fact that I am packing makes me the happiest little missionary ever. Words can not express my joy. I'm ready to get to campus and get this show on the road!!
(I could go on and on, but I'll spare you the details of why I'm excited for Auburn, I think it suffices to say that I'm most excited about just being a better version of myself!)
Saint Bernardino of Sienna, Patron of Public Speaking, Pray for me!
28 July 2011
24 July 2011
In the World
I'm struggling to reconcile some ideas in my head, maybe you can help me out.
As Christians, especially as Catholics, (and for me, most especially as a Catholic missionary,) we have to recognize the privilege of the call we have received and have responded to. God desires to spend eternity with all of His people and His charity always desires to accomplish that goal. At the same time, my specific call (the way the Lord wants me to get to Heaven) is different from the calling of every other one of God's people. This requires my own unique response.
As a missionary, I am required to make my best efforts to live excellence in every way possible. I must admit that I fail very frequently.
It is difficult enough to keep my own mind on God's will and to keep myself from the temptations of Satan, and the only way I can even begin to show others how to live out holiness is by God's grace.
While I'm desperately trying to live out holiness with charity, there are certain things that I must do and certain things I must not do. Of course, I must avoid sin at all cost, and all temptations to sin. (Nearly impossible, thanks to concupiscence, my own inclination to sin.) Simultaneously, I must go to the darkest places on earth (where the Resurrection of God Incarnate is not known), and bring light.
How do I, as a missionary, let my students (and family, and mission partners) know that I love them exactly how they are? I think that living in the world and being of the Kingdom will be my greatest challenge as a missionary.
Even now, I hear close friends and family say things like: "It was a good movie, but you might be offended," or "you wouldn't want to go (wherever) because of (whatever reason)." The truth is, I've been there, and I'm still there! I sometimes think inappropriate jokes are funny, and I like romantic comedies and reality television. (Sorry, Dr. Sri!) But I try my best to give up the good (or what my feeble senses think is good) for the better (according to God's will). I know that the Lord has a sense of humor, but more importantly I know that He desires for us only what is best.
I desperately want to love people the way God loves them, to meet them where they're at and show them a higher calling (to that of service to the Lord). I also want people to recognize my that my failures do not disqualify me from this calling, but that the Lord works through them for my own sanctification.
I'm not sure, I suppose I'm rambling at this point. How do I avoid sin without coming across as "holier than thou?" If you have any insight, I'd love to hear it!
In other news:
I've been praying and thinking frequently about employing higher faculties. If I want my intellect to rule, I have to exercise it most often. I think I can accomplish this by reading more, but it is difficult to use my brain when I'm not in school and not actively engaged in furthering my education. (I don't want my brain to turn to mush just because it is summer.) I have also been practicing a few daily sacrifices of my emotions and appetites in order to keep them in control. I hope this will help me in my quest for knowledge of the Lord.
Mission Partner Development is going much slower than I expected, but I appreciate all who have prayed for me and offered Mass and rosaries. I have a Parish Talk at St. Francis of Assisi in Grapevine next Saturday and Sunday, so keep the prayers coming!
I am eagerly counting down to my Texan departure for the cooler and friendlier Village on the Plains. I have less than two weeks to go and I can't wait for Auburn to be introduced to my sweet teammates, Michael and Brian! Get ready for an incredible year, Auburn!
Saint Michael the Archangel, pray for us!
As Christians, especially as Catholics, (and for me, most especially as a Catholic missionary,) we have to recognize the privilege of the call we have received and have responded to. God desires to spend eternity with all of His people and His charity always desires to accomplish that goal. At the same time, my specific call (the way the Lord wants me to get to Heaven) is different from the calling of every other one of God's people. This requires my own unique response.
As a missionary, I am required to make my best efforts to live excellence in every way possible. I must admit that I fail very frequently.
It is difficult enough to keep my own mind on God's will and to keep myself from the temptations of Satan, and the only way I can even begin to show others how to live out holiness is by God's grace.
While I'm desperately trying to live out holiness with charity, there are certain things that I must do and certain things I must not do. Of course, I must avoid sin at all cost, and all temptations to sin. (Nearly impossible, thanks to concupiscence, my own inclination to sin.) Simultaneously, I must go to the darkest places on earth (where the Resurrection of God Incarnate is not known), and bring light.
How do I, as a missionary, let my students (and family, and mission partners) know that I love them exactly how they are? I think that living in the world and being of the Kingdom will be my greatest challenge as a missionary.
Even now, I hear close friends and family say things like: "It was a good movie, but you might be offended," or "you wouldn't want to go (wherever) because of (whatever reason)." The truth is, I've been there, and I'm still there! I sometimes think inappropriate jokes are funny, and I like romantic comedies and reality television. (Sorry, Dr. Sri!) But I try my best to give up the good (or what my feeble senses think is good) for the better (according to God's will). I know that the Lord has a sense of humor, but more importantly I know that He desires for us only what is best.
I desperately want to love people the way God loves them, to meet them where they're at and show them a higher calling (to that of service to the Lord). I also want people to recognize my that my failures do not disqualify me from this calling, but that the Lord works through them for my own sanctification.
I'm not sure, I suppose I'm rambling at this point. How do I avoid sin without coming across as "holier than thou?" If you have any insight, I'd love to hear it!
In other news:
I've been praying and thinking frequently about employing higher faculties. If I want my intellect to rule, I have to exercise it most often. I think I can accomplish this by reading more, but it is difficult to use my brain when I'm not in school and not actively engaged in furthering my education. (I don't want my brain to turn to mush just because it is summer.) I have also been practicing a few daily sacrifices of my emotions and appetites in order to keep them in control. I hope this will help me in my quest for knowledge of the Lord.
Mission Partner Development is going much slower than I expected, but I appreciate all who have prayed for me and offered Mass and rosaries. I have a Parish Talk at St. Francis of Assisi in Grapevine next Saturday and Sunday, so keep the prayers coming!
I am eagerly counting down to my Texan departure for the cooler and friendlier Village on the Plains. I have less than two weeks to go and I can't wait for Auburn to be introduced to my sweet teammates, Michael and Brian! Get ready for an incredible year, Auburn!
Saint Michael the Archangel, pray for us!
13 July 2011
Evangelization
I used to be terrified of evangelizing. In a Marist study from 2010, 63% of those surveyed said they'd like to know more about their Faith... why am I nervous about giving them the information they've been looking for... information that could bring about Eternal Salvation?!!
This is what JPII has to say on the subject:
“We wish to confirm once more that the task of evangelizing all people constitutes the essential mission of the Church. It is a task and mission which the vast and profound changes of present-day society make all the more urgent. Evangelizing is in fact the grace and vocation proper to the Church, her deepest identity. She exists to evangelize." Blessed John Paul II, Evangelii Nuntiandi (On Evangelization in the Modern World)
Once I realized that evangelization must happen by one's life, it made evangelization both easier and more difficult.
It is easier because I recognize that all that is required of me is to live my life and invest my life into others. This means that when I'm meeting new people on campus, all I have to do is strike up conversations and hear people's stories. (Everyone has a story, and everyone wants someone to listen to it, and I LOVE getting to know what makes people tick!)
It is more difficult because it means that I need to be constantly cultivating the virtue of excellence in all things. When there are so many false ideas and bad attitudes about the Church, She desperately needs Catholics to make Catholicism look good! If I am going to evangelize by my life, my life needs to look a lot like Christ's. This is a lofty task, one that only the Holy Spirit can accomplish through me.
This is what JPII has to say on the subject:
“We wish to confirm once more that the task of evangelizing all people constitutes the essential mission of the Church. It is a task and mission which the vast and profound changes of present-day society make all the more urgent. Evangelizing is in fact the grace and vocation proper to the Church, her deepest identity. She exists to evangelize." Blessed John Paul II, Evangelii Nuntiandi (On Evangelization in the Modern World)
Once I realized that evangelization must happen by one's life, it made evangelization both easier and more difficult.
It is easier because I recognize that all that is required of me is to live my life and invest my life into others. This means that when I'm meeting new people on campus, all I have to do is strike up conversations and hear people's stories. (Everyone has a story, and everyone wants someone to listen to it, and I LOVE getting to know what makes people tick!)
It is more difficult because it means that I need to be constantly cultivating the virtue of excellence in all things. When there are so many false ideas and bad attitudes about the Church, She desperately needs Catholics to make Catholicism look good! If I am going to evangelize by my life, my life needs to look a lot like Christ's. This is a lofty task, one that only the Holy Spirit can accomplish through me.
And thus, as difficult as it may be, I need to learn to find myself in sharing the Gospel with others. We are a Resurrection People!
Saint Benedict, pray for us!
05 July 2011
Mission Partner Development
One of the most important things that I will be doing for the next few years is Mission Partner Development, or fundraising. A lot of people misunderstand why FOCUS Missionaries raise their salaries, and I am just now beginning to learn the true blessing of being able to rely fully on God's grace.
The truth is that all blessings come from God (James 1:17). This includes money. When someone works for a living, their salary still comes from God, it is just a little bit more difficult to recognize. When we live purely off of the generosity of others, it is easier to see that our financial blessings come directly from (and belong to) the Lord.
The primary purpose of doing Mission Partner Development is not to get money or to put our trust in God alone (although these are necessary effects.) The primary purpose is to be able to share our mission with a team of supporters who can participate in the New Evangelization in radical ways by praying for us and supporting us financially. A lot of people are able to see the need for Jesus' transforming love in our culture, and they want to do something about it, they just don't know where to begin.
I am so excited to invite my team to come with me on my mission to spread the Gospel to the ends of the earth by teaching others to teach (2 Timothy 2:2) and by living and communicating the fullness of Truth.
A few weeks ago, I made my first round of phone calls. It was much more difficult (and emotional) than I had anticipated, but I had a few good conversations and I thanked God for the triumphs and the failures.
A few things that I learned about myself on the first official day of MPD:
I am afraid of rejection.
My pride controls too many of my actions.
I do not trust God as much as He's asking me to trust Him, He's asking for complete abandonment.
God picks me up after I fail, over and over again, if I allow Him.
I am determined and resolute, and I know that I am called to be here.
Satan is real, and he doesn't want me to be a missionary.
Now, I am still making phone calls to set up appointments to share my mission with people. It's so exciting to get to give people this hope. God wants so desperately to draw His people back to Himself, and He wants to use me and my mission partners to do it! There IS a future of Christianity, and it begins with people dedicated to the fullness of life in the Church.
St. Joseph the Worker, Pray for us!
The truth is that all blessings come from God (James 1:17). This includes money. When someone works for a living, their salary still comes from God, it is just a little bit more difficult to recognize. When we live purely off of the generosity of others, it is easier to see that our financial blessings come directly from (and belong to) the Lord.
The primary purpose of doing Mission Partner Development is not to get money or to put our trust in God alone (although these are necessary effects.) The primary purpose is to be able to share our mission with a team of supporters who can participate in the New Evangelization in radical ways by praying for us and supporting us financially. A lot of people are able to see the need for Jesus' transforming love in our culture, and they want to do something about it, they just don't know where to begin.
I am so excited to invite my team to come with me on my mission to spread the Gospel to the ends of the earth by teaching others to teach (2 Timothy 2:2) and by living and communicating the fullness of Truth.
A few weeks ago, I made my first round of phone calls. It was much more difficult (and emotional) than I had anticipated, but I had a few good conversations and I thanked God for the triumphs and the failures.
A few things that I learned about myself on the first official day of MPD:
I am afraid of rejection.
My pride controls too many of my actions.
I do not trust God as much as He's asking me to trust Him, He's asking for complete abandonment.
God picks me up after I fail, over and over again, if I allow Him.
I am determined and resolute, and I know that I am called to be here.
Satan is real, and he doesn't want me to be a missionary.
Now, I am still making phone calls to set up appointments to share my mission with people. It's so exciting to get to give people this hope. God wants so desperately to draw His people back to Himself, and He wants to use me and my mission partners to do it! There IS a future of Christianity, and it begins with people dedicated to the fullness of life in the Church.
St. Joseph the Worker, Pray for us!
28 June 2011
The Life of a Missionary...
is CRAZY!!!
There is so much that I want to tell you all, and so little time to do it! I've been wanting to update my blog for a while but I couldn't find time, and now I have so much to say and not enough mental capacity to put it into intelligent sentences!
This weekend, my beautiful friends from Auburn came to visit us at New Staff Training, and I am so grateful. I hope they had a good time, they have been my saving grace this summer.
I can't believe that NST is coming to an end. I am sad to say goodbye, terrified to be a missionary without the support of other first year missionaries here, excited to get home, and fired up to spread the Good News of Christ's Incarnation to college students who will change our culture. How good is God, that He would call me, an irrational sinner, to this mission?!
Some things I have been praying for/about:
Truth (always!) (One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Truth)
Baptismal Graces
Team Auburn, including our newest member, Brian (pray for him!!)
Mission Partners
Auburn Students (especially for a zeal for souls among our Student Leaders)
Trust and reliance on God the Father to protect and provide
The Gospel of Jesus Christ and building an intensely intimate relationship with Him
The Holy Spirit, the Paraclete (Consoler)
Evangelization, especially by one's life
I might write more about these specific topics in future posts, in fact, I have some drafts started already.
I feel so free. I guess that's what happens when you become insane and give your whole life for the Lord's service. It is unreal how incredibly amazing it is. I know that I am right where He wants me to be, what more is there?! Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom! (2 Corinthians 3:17)
What do you want to know about my experiences at NST?
Saint Maria Goretti, pray for us.
There is so much that I want to tell you all, and so little time to do it! I've been wanting to update my blog for a while but I couldn't find time, and now I have so much to say and not enough mental capacity to put it into intelligent sentences!
This weekend, my beautiful friends from Auburn came to visit us at New Staff Training, and I am so grateful. I hope they had a good time, they have been my saving grace this summer.
I can't believe that NST is coming to an end. I am sad to say goodbye, terrified to be a missionary without the support of other first year missionaries here, excited to get home, and fired up to spread the Good News of Christ's Incarnation to college students who will change our culture. How good is God, that He would call me, an irrational sinner, to this mission?!
Some things I have been praying for/about:
Truth (always!) (One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Truth)
Baptismal Graces
Team Auburn, including our newest member, Brian (pray for him!!)
Mission Partners
Auburn Students (especially for a zeal for souls among our Student Leaders)
Trust and reliance on God the Father to protect and provide
The Gospel of Jesus Christ and building an intensely intimate relationship with Him
The Holy Spirit, the Paraclete (Consoler)
Evangelization, especially by one's life
I might write more about these specific topics in future posts, in fact, I have some drafts started already.
I feel so free. I guess that's what happens when you become insane and give your whole life for the Lord's service. It is unreal how incredibly amazing it is. I know that I am right where He wants me to be, what more is there?! Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom! (2 Corinthians 3:17)
What do you want to know about my experiences at NST?
Saint Maria Goretti, pray for us.
10 June 2011
Week Two
This week, all of FOCUS Staff gathered together here in Champaign for Veteran Staff Training. This means that the 200+ people I was busy meeting during week one was increased to over 300 people.
The week went by a lot more quickly than last week. I think they knew that the first year missionaries were in desperate need of a break, because we had yesterday afternoon off from class, and today was casual day in class! We even played Jeopardy, complete with physical challenges such as holding Mountain Dew and Alka-Seltzer in one's mouth, and an egg toss.
In classes this week, we talked about evangelization, discipleship, the dating fast (!!), Bible studies, and of course, "Launching College Students into a Lifetime of Catholic Missions." I am SO excited to get back to Auburn to use the new knowledge I have to be a better discipler and Bible study leader, and I can't wait to strategize with my team and learn more about God's plan to draw our campus back to Himself.
In addition, my Holy Hours have been much better this week. The Lord knows how emotional I am, and I am so thankful for His healing consolation this week. A man's role is to provide and protect, and He has been faithfully fulfilling His promises to me. Prayer is ABSOLUTELY VITAL to my mission, and I have been praying diligently for my future mission partners, students, teammates, family, and fellow missionaries, who have been so encouraging and charitable. (One amazing thing about New Staff Training is the feeling of charity that surrounds me all of the time. Everyone has such great intentions, and love is definitely at the heart of sharing Christ with others.)
As promised, some quotes from the first week:
When answering the question "Why college students?," Curtis Martin said, "College students are future leaders, they live in close proximity, they are in the age which is called the critical decade (age 16-26), and they have time. This is the perfect storm for evangelization."
"If you evangelize every student on campus, but you neglect your family, you will go to Hell." -Bishop Robert Carlson
"If you cannot live the Gospel of Jesus Christ, you CANNOT preach it." -Dr. J. Reyes
"The Lord did not make us to permanently suffer our weaknesses." -Dr. J. Reyes
This one hits hard, but I haven't fully formulated my thoughts on it so that they can be expressed.
"Moral character in itself, whether good or bad, as exhibited in thought and conduct, surely cannot be duly represented in words." -Blessed John Henry Newman
--------------
There are many more to come from week two, but that's all for now.
Tomorrow I am going on a spiritual impact retreat, so please pray for me and for my mission partners. I will be praying for all of you!
Saint Clare, pray for us!
The week went by a lot more quickly than last week. I think they knew that the first year missionaries were in desperate need of a break, because we had yesterday afternoon off from class, and today was casual day in class! We even played Jeopardy, complete with physical challenges such as holding Mountain Dew and Alka-Seltzer in one's mouth, and an egg toss.
In classes this week, we talked about evangelization, discipleship, the dating fast (!!), Bible studies, and of course, "Launching College Students into a Lifetime of Catholic Missions." I am SO excited to get back to Auburn to use the new knowledge I have to be a better discipler and Bible study leader, and I can't wait to strategize with my team and learn more about God's plan to draw our campus back to Himself.
In addition, my Holy Hours have been much better this week. The Lord knows how emotional I am, and I am so thankful for His healing consolation this week. A man's role is to provide and protect, and He has been faithfully fulfilling His promises to me. Prayer is ABSOLUTELY VITAL to my mission, and I have been praying diligently for my future mission partners, students, teammates, family, and fellow missionaries, who have been so encouraging and charitable. (One amazing thing about New Staff Training is the feeling of charity that surrounds me all of the time. Everyone has such great intentions, and love is definitely at the heart of sharing Christ with others.)
As promised, some quotes from the first week:
When answering the question "Why college students?," Curtis Martin said, "College students are future leaders, they live in close proximity, they are in the age which is called the critical decade (age 16-26), and they have time. This is the perfect storm for evangelization."
"If you evangelize every student on campus, but you neglect your family, you will go to Hell." -Bishop Robert Carlson
"If you cannot live the Gospel of Jesus Christ, you CANNOT preach it." -Dr. J. Reyes
"The Lord did not make us to permanently suffer our weaknesses." -Dr. J. Reyes
This one hits hard, but I haven't fully formulated my thoughts on it so that they can be expressed.
"Moral character in itself, whether good or bad, as exhibited in thought and conduct, surely cannot be duly represented in words." -Blessed John Henry Newman
--------------
There are many more to come from week two, but that's all for now.
Tomorrow I am going on a spiritual impact retreat, so please pray for me and for my mission partners. I will be praying for all of you!
Saint Clare, pray for us!
03 June 2011
One Down, Four to Go!
Week one of FOCUS NST (known unofficially as Purgatory Week) is over, and I am worn out!
As most of you know, I'm fairly outgoing (haha!), and I rarely desire to spend time alone. (I think this is a good quality for a missionary, seeing as my job will be to invite others to live in a radical way for the Lord.) That being said, after a week of New Staff Training, even I could use 24 hours by myself.
One of my goals this summer was to keep in touch with people who I care about, and I have not done too well this week (which has felt like a month). They have nearly every waking hour methodically scheduled so that we can get the formation we need before we hit campus in August.
Last night, the first year missionaries received their placements. The three Auburn graduates who came here with me, Ginny, Michael, and Caralyn, will be missionaries at Ave Maria University, Georgia Southern University, and the University of Louisiana- Lafayette, respectively. I am SO excited that we will all be in the same region, and that they are staying (relatively) close to home.
In addition, Team Auburn has two first year missionaries starting this fall, Michael Senderling (graduate of Arizona State University)... and well... me! I am SO excited to have another first year on the team. Even though I am a student at Auburn, becoming a missionary at Auburn will be a challenge, so I'm glad we will get to experience the ups and downs together. Please pray for Michael, he is coming onto a team with the four of us who already know each other well, and also, we're all ridiculous, so I'm sure he would appreciate your prayers for him.
Please also pray that the Lord will give me opportunities to invite people to join my mission support team. Mission Partner Development is one of the most challenging and rewarding aspects of missionary life, and I can't wait to give God's people the opportunity to come with me on this crazy adventure to evangelize the South and to win souls for Jesus Christ!
I've been thinking of and praying for you (my blog readers) this week, and although I didn't have time to blog at all, I made you a list of one adjective per day to describe how I was feeling.
Monday- excited
Tuesday- overwhelmed
Wednesday- exhausted
Thursday- emotional
Friday- privileged
When I have time to look through some of my notes, I will add some important quotes I wrote down during class or holy hour. Right now, I need to go to Mass. Please pray for me!
Saint Joseph, the Worker, pray for us!
As most of you know, I'm fairly outgoing (haha!), and I rarely desire to spend time alone. (I think this is a good quality for a missionary, seeing as my job will be to invite others to live in a radical way for the Lord.) That being said, after a week of New Staff Training, even I could use 24 hours by myself.
One of my goals this summer was to keep in touch with people who I care about, and I have not done too well this week (which has felt like a month). They have nearly every waking hour methodically scheduled so that we can get the formation we need before we hit campus in August.
Last night, the first year missionaries received their placements. The three Auburn graduates who came here with me, Ginny, Michael, and Caralyn, will be missionaries at Ave Maria University, Georgia Southern University, and the University of Louisiana- Lafayette, respectively. I am SO excited that we will all be in the same region, and that they are staying (relatively) close to home.
In addition, Team Auburn has two first year missionaries starting this fall, Michael Senderling (graduate of Arizona State University)... and well... me! I am SO excited to have another first year on the team. Even though I am a student at Auburn, becoming a missionary at Auburn will be a challenge, so I'm glad we will get to experience the ups and downs together. Please pray for Michael, he is coming onto a team with the four of us who already know each other well, and also, we're all ridiculous, so I'm sure he would appreciate your prayers for him.
Please also pray that the Lord will give me opportunities to invite people to join my mission support team. Mission Partner Development is one of the most challenging and rewarding aspects of missionary life, and I can't wait to give God's people the opportunity to come with me on this crazy adventure to evangelize the South and to win souls for Jesus Christ!
I've been thinking of and praying for you (my blog readers) this week, and although I didn't have time to blog at all, I made you a list of one adjective per day to describe how I was feeling.
Monday- excited
Tuesday- overwhelmed
Wednesday- exhausted
Thursday- emotional
Friday- privileged
When I have time to look through some of my notes, I will add some important quotes I wrote down during class or holy hour. Right now, I need to go to Mass. Please pray for me!
Saint Joseph, the Worker, pray for us!
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