Jesus taught me some interesting things this Lent.
Of course, I had big plans for Lent because hello, I'm Brittany Anderson. It's what I do.
Well I had some severe gallbladder issues the first weekend of Lent, and then the next weekend I got food poisoning.
One of the women in my discipleship group asked me how my runs were going (I am/was? training for a 10k) and I said I hadn't been because of the stomach issues. She said "oh, well of course.... you've been sick." For some reason that really hit home, because until she said that, I just thought I was a failure. By telling me I'd been sick, she helped me to see that I'd been too hard on myself. It was like a lightbulb in my head.
I know that I have unrealistic expectations for myself. I don't know why, and I don't know how to be any other way, yet.
So I spent the rest of Lent, not running a single time, working on loving myself in a new way.
Here are some of the things I did:
I bought new blue jeans that fit well and look good on me. (I hadn't bought new jeans in YEARS... most of the jeans in my closet moved here with me from college.)
I put $100 in the monthly budget for me to buy clothes. And I'm making myself spend it.
I started online shopping. I hate regular shopping, so to spend the aforementioned $100 a month, I'm online shopping, and RETURNING stuff that I don't love.
I also signed up for Click List, where you tell Kroger what groceries you need ahead of time, and they deliver them to your car. I know this is lazy, but I also hate grocery shopping.
I unsubscribed from dozens of email lists I was on, so everything I get in my inbox is from a PERSON or an organization I care about. This is revolutionizing the way I feel about email.
I posted this on my mirror:
I'm still trying to be more intentional about loving myself better. I don't want to use that as an excuse to avoid things I don't like, stay in my comfort zone, etc., but I also want to learn to forgive myself.
Being single at this stage in life is weird. I love Jesus and what he's doing in my life is nothing short of miraculous. Things are so good that I don't even feel like asking Him for anything else.
I'm so glad he knows what I need and when I need it.
Also, Ross, if you're reading this, these pictures are for you! Sorry the quality isn't great! Blame the photographer, not the camera!
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| The Bluebonnets know that it is Spring in Texas! I LOVE THEM. |
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| My mom's daffodils? lillies? I don't know what they are. |
