So, I'm 24.
That's pretty young. I think.
But you know how so many people get married right out of college? Well, when I was IN college, I'd always hoped that would be the case for me. Obviously, no luck there; mixed with the fact that I spent what would have been my senior year on the DF (dating fast) with FOCUS, it wasn't in the cards. No big deal.
Now that I'm in the "real world," people get married much later than in my previous groups of friends. In Catholic circles, it is the exception rather than the rule for people to get married after about age 28. In my office, most of the people who are married are at least 30.
There are a lot of critics of young marriage, and a lot of people believe that the younger two people are when they get married, the more likely they will be to divorce. I know there are a lot of factors that go into the divorce epidemic in our country, but I really think getting married young can hardly be a leading cause. In fact, as I get older, I feel myself become more set in my ways, and I wonder how, when the time comes, I will be able to let someone into my life. Dating and engagement are one thing, but marriage is a whole different ballgame. Day in and day out waking up to the same person with the same bad habits can't be easy.
I feel like the older one waits to get married, the harder it is to combine lives. For example, right now I am buying basically an entire apartment full of furniture. What if I don't get married until I'm 30, and he has his own favorite chair that just HAS to be in our living room, and way of folding towels that doesn't make any sense to me? See, right out of college, you're used to living with roommates and dealing with a lot of different types of people and ways of doing things. Plus, you don't have a whole bunch of stuff or a set way of loading the dishwasher or rolling up your toothpaste tube.
I guess these things are small and insignificant when it comes to love.
Right now I'm living with my friend from high school and her husband and their 5 year old (and baby on the way). They've been married for 5 years and when I think about the way they do things, sometimes I just can't imagine ever getting married. For example, right now, when I want to go out to dinner, I don't consult anyone, I just go. When you're married, those decisions have to be made together. Living with them has really allowed me to see marriage for what it really is: a daily commitment to love. Before this experience it seemed so glamourous. Now, some of that has worn off but in a really beautiful way that allows me to be detached from my thoughts of what it would/could/should be and see it how it truly is.
Maybe God is detaching me from my hopes about marriage because He's got something else up His sleeve ;)... or maybe not!
St. Joseph, most chaste spouse of the Blessed Virgin, pray for us.
03 January 2014
You probably won't expect this to come from me, but I LOVE the New Year. I don't particularly enjoy New Year's Eve just in general, but I love the idea of a fresh new start. I love making resolutions, I love making lists and crossing things off of them, I just love the whole idea of self improvement... which is good... because this self has a lot of improving to do.
This year I made a LOT of Resolutions. Some I'll keep, some I won't. Some are high priority ("must works") and some are not.. ("stretch goals.") I try to make resolutions during the liturgical new year but I never remember them.
I would write a list of all of the things I want to accomplish this year, but I'll spare you. Trust me, it's a long list. I will say this: I think it is important to have multiple types of goals: spiritual, physical, financial, educational, emotional, relationship, etc.
Last year was a big year for me. A lot of things changed. I went from full time Catholic missionary to Stock Broker/Investment Adviser. I moved from FL to TX... and a few times there after. I saved $5000 and paid off a lot of debt. I became financially independent. I met and became friends with people who I would not normally spend time with. I basically destroyed my comfort zone. I've seen brokenness in ways I thought only existed in rom-coms. I've been assured time and time again in the Truth which is found in the teachings of the Catholic Church and I've loved Her more for it. I spent a lot of time thinking about what ifs.
This year I am going to focus on Jesus and me. I want to be excellent. I want to know Jesus better. He and I both love me too much to leave me where I'm at. We have big plans. Mostly I want to live every day like it's New Year's Day. Every single day is an opportunity to wake up, look yourself in the mirror, and be the best person you can be. Every day you face failure, but if you fail once and decide to wait until next year to try again... you're only hurting yourself. There's no point in feeling guilty because you forgot to pray your rosary yesterday, by the time you're done thinking about it you could be on the second decade of your rosary for today! God doesn't live in the past, and the future doesn't even exist. I have to meet Him in the "here and now." The present, not the past or the future, is where time touches eternity. Pray for me! I'll pray for you!
Mary, Queen of Expectation, pray for us!