26 January 2014


So, I'm 24.

That's pretty young. I think.

But you know how so many people get married right out of college? Well, when I was IN college, I'd always hoped that would be the case for me. Obviously, no luck there; mixed with the fact that I spent what would have been my senior year on the DF (dating fast) with FOCUS, it wasn't in the cards. No big deal.

Now that I'm in the "real world," people get married much later than in my previous groups of friends. In Catholic circles, it is the exception rather than the rule for people to get married after about age 28. In my office, most of the people who are married are at least 30.

There are a lot of critics of young marriage, and a lot of people believe that the younger two people are when they get married, the more likely they will be to divorce. I know there are a lot of factors that go into the divorce epidemic in our country, but I really think getting married young can hardly be a leading cause. In fact, as I get older, I feel myself become more set in my ways, and I wonder how, when the time comes, I will be able to let someone into my life. Dating and engagement are one thing, but marriage is a whole different ballgame. Day in and day out waking up to the same person with the same bad habits can't be easy.

I feel like the older one waits to get married, the harder it is to combine lives. For example, right now I am buying basically an entire apartment full of furniture. What if I don't get married until I'm 30, and he has his own favorite chair that just HAS to be in our living room, and way of folding towels that doesn't make any sense to me? See, right out of college, you're used to living with roommates and dealing with a lot of different types of people and ways of doing things. Plus, you don't have a whole bunch of stuff or a set way of loading the dishwasher or rolling up your toothpaste tube.

I guess these things are small and insignificant when it comes to love.

Right now I'm living with my friend from high school and her husband and their 5 year old (and baby on the way). They've been married for 5 years and when I think about the way they do things, sometimes I just can't imagine ever getting married. For example, right now, when I want to go out to dinner, I don't consult anyone, I just go. When you're married, those decisions have to be made together. Living with them has really allowed me to see marriage for what it really is: a daily commitment to love. Before this experience it seemed so glamourous. Now, some of that has worn off but in a really beautiful way that allows me to be detached from my thoughts of what it would/could/should be and see it how it truly is.

Maybe God is detaching me from my hopes about marriage because He's got something else up His sleeve ;)... or maybe not!

St. Joseph, most chaste spouse of the Blessed Virgin, pray for us.

1 comment:

  1. I wish Blogger had a like button. I don't usually know what to comment, but I want you to know I love reading your blog!