27 July 2014

The Virtue of Femininity

Men and women, women and men.

The relationship between the sexes is fascinating. One could spend lifetimes of analyzation and dissection and never be finished.

When it comes to "the problem with our society," a lot of people want to point fingers. If women would behave in a way that is worthy of respect and dignity, men would treat them that way. If men would stop being slimy, women would defer to them and allow them to lead the way they ought. It's a vicious cycle.

After years of formation in FOCUS discipleship and of studying the greats, I understand the need for me to let the men around me lead. It's not easy for me; if you've ever met me you know that I am loud, super type A, decisive, and very hard headed. I have spent a lot of time and energy cultivating myself to be quieter, kinder, and more gentle.... more like Mary. (Not an easy task.)

I'm not interested in the blame game as far as who is responsible for the way things are. The only person's actions that I can control is my own. (Most of the time.) So I have to start with myself. I have to be the woman who lets men lead. I have to be grateful for something as simple as a door being held for me simply because my gratitude could inspire further actions of service. I have to accept help and ask for it, even when I'm perfectly capable of doing something myself, just because it encourages men to be honorable and to lay down their lives in small ways. This applies to both physical things and mental/emotional.

In the work force, especially in my chosen career path, this is even more difficult. It almost leads me to believe that men and women were never meant to work in the same place, at least not in the same capacity. (Cue "feminist" rant.)

This sounds ridiculously conceited (may I remind you that humility is seeing things as they truly are?), but I am pretty good at my job. (Praise be to God.) I have a knack for all things financial and I don't have to work as hard as a lot of people to understand complex issues and find appropriate solutions.... which is what finance is all about. This is allowing me to excel quickly, and has given me the immense opportunity to have gotten 2 promotions in the last 8 months. (Again, praise God.)

So here's the question I have for you, blogosphere. While in CFP class this weekend, we were split into groups and assigned a case. We came across a question where we had a disagreement. I thought the answer was D, the guys in my group thought it was B. We go around one by one to voice our thoughts. I must not have been very convincing, no one was swayed. I decided it wasn't a big deal and not to push it farther, besides, it was two against one. So I deferred to them. And they were wrong, I was right. This is just a small meaningless example of things that happen at work where I either don't know what to do, or I think I know the right thing to do and it ends up being wrong. So here's the question: what the heck is a girl to do?!

How can I "submit" to men who aren't conditioned to lead in the right direction? And how do I come across in a way that inspires them to be real men, while still holding true to what I know and believe in, especially when it comes to things that I happen to have a talent for? How can I encourage them to step up when they're competing with me?

Patron Saint of complicated situations, pray for us!
Patron Saint of bloggers who use a ridiculous amount of parenthesis, pray for us!
Maria, untier of knots, pray for us!

1 comment:

  1. I think that in the workforce, where women are welcomed but femininity is not, women should behave more or less like men. That is, they should not have to give male peers' voices priority over their own, and should only give this deference to their superiors, just as men do. Now, if a women is trying to date men in the workforce, I guess that makes things more complicated...

    I would say that upon meeting a new man, a women should allow him to open the door for her, etc. If he does not do it, no hard feelings should be had, and in the future the woman can open the door for herself - or better yet - him also.