Bonus Post

 I've been having trouble sleeping at night (no problem napping during the day though...) so I think now is as good of a time as any to go through and update this blog on a few life changes that have happened since I was regularly writing in 2017/2018.

I bought a house in 2018. It is this little two-bedroom home on a cute street in a quiet neighborhood. The perfect first home, in my opinion. So perfect, in fact, that I did not sell it when I bought a bigger home in 2020. There are home tours of both houses on my Instagram highlights, if you're interested. (@blittany)

The story of how I bought my second house is really cool, I think. In early 2020, interest rates had fallen significantly, and I decided to refinance my little house to get rid of my PMI and lower my interest rate. In the midst of that, I was still reeling from the changes of working from home and COVID isolation, and I started therapy. The therapist I was seeing recommended a daily routine to signal that work was done for the day and build in some artificial compartmentalization between work and home. I decided that each day at 5:00 I would get in my car and drive to my church to "park and pray." I was reading Sheed's Theology for Beginners (highly recommend!) and my prayer life was pretty consistent. (And for me, consistent equals good most of the time.) Around late March, early April, I randomly decided to look at houses on this app my realtor had given me when I bought my first house. There is a neighborhood I would drive past every day on the way to the Church for park and pray, and I called my realtor and asked for him to set up a search to email me every time a house with at least 4 bedrooms in that neighborhood came on the market. I saw a few that I liked in April but didn't think much of them because I was not quite ready to buy anything. I needed at least one more bonus check for the downpayment and I needed to make sure my refinance had already wrapped up, which was going to take about a month. A few weeks later, one of the houses I'd seen kept coming up in my mind while I was praying. I looked at the app and it said under contract, so I tried to put it out of my mind. Fast forward to the end of May- the refinance is done, I had an extra bonus check, and I was ready to keep looking. I logged on to the app and that house was still listed as under contract. I called my realtor and asked... is this normal that it's still "under contract?" over a month later? He called the sellers agent, and the contract had actually fallen through that week. We went to see the house, put an offer down, and after some back and forth about the roof, I closed on the house on 9/11/20. While there are some things I would change and might eventually change about it, overall, it is my dream home in my dream neighborhood, and I hope I never have to move again. Consider these roots put down haha. 

I've also been so blessed to be able to travel a decent amount since I last updated the blog about my Yellowstone trip in 2018. Later in 2018 I went to Northern Europe and did a loop around the entire Baltic Sea. I got to see the Northern Lights in the Artic Circle of Norway and Finland, I took an overnight ferry from Stockholm to Helsinki. I visited Estonia, Latvia, and Lithuania. I began my love affair with Poland. I saw the Berlin wall. I went to Mass in 9 languages. All by myself in 16 days. 

In 2019, Katelyn and I took a trip to celebrate our 30th birthdays in the Bahamas, where we stayed at Sandals and had the BEST time. 

2020 was out for international travel, but I did go to Virginia to see my sweet Katie marry Michael. I spent Halloween in Denver with my goddaughter Elizabeth and her parents Allie and Michael. I visited Caralyn in NOLA in December.

I also lost my dad in December of 2020. He was only 58. I might write more about him later, but please pray for the repose of his soul!

I'm not sure what happened in 2021- it kinda seems like a blur.  I do know that I spent a great deal of time in the pool in my backyard, and now I really wonder how I ever lived without a pool in Texas in the summer. I'm in that thing every single day from May to September. I think 2021 was the year I took a pretty awful road trip to Ohio to celebrate my grandmother's 84th birthday. 

In the Fall of 2022, I took another Eurotrip. This time to Prague, Salzburg, Vienna, Ljubljana, Trieste, Zagreb, Budapest, and of course, Krakow. Seeing where JPII grew up and lived was definitely a highlight. 

In the Fall of 2023, I got to go back to Europe again (are you sensing a theme?) and this time it was to Brussels, Bruges, Luxembourg, and Amsterdam. It was a great trip- and I actually ran into a friend from high school who lives in Amsterdam now (completely unplanned.... it was SHOCKING.)

There are lots of things I can say about each trip- maybe I'll write about them soon. Maybe not. We'll see. 

This year we're changing things up though... the Eurotrip will be in the Spring! I'm going on a roommate trip to London, Edinburgh, and Dublin in May!  

Two In One

 I missed posting last week (and yesterday) because I lost the charger to my laptop and had to order a new one 3 separate times to get the right one. The first one never came, the second was the wrong size (my b) and the third is Goldilocks. 

My therapist wanted me to journal about some of the things we've been working on. Over the last few months especially we've done kinda a deep dive into my childhood and what it was like being parented (or sometimes not) by my parents. 

One thing that's hard for me to do is criticize my mom especially because I truly do believe she did the best she could. But two things can be true: she did her best and had good intentions, and it still wasn't what I needed. I hope I remember that if I ever become a mom. I want to do my best, but I also want to be discerning of what my children need in "triggered" moments and try to be mindful that my best might look different from what I think. 

Ultimately, I think all of my wounds and sins stem from what Dr. Bob Schutts calls "unholy self-reliance." I learned from a young age to be self-reliant, and there were times that it served me well. There have also been times when self-reliance has led to me making vows that I can't rely on anyone else or trust anyone else, and those things simply aren't true.  

A vow that I'm working on renouncing now is that no one can take care of me as well as I can take care of me. Obviously, as a follower of Jesus, I have to believe that this isn't true. But it's difficult. 

I've also been going for both quality and quantity in my "consumption" of scripture. I'm trying to read 4-8 chapters of the NT per night in addition to my normal meditation on the daily Gospel reading. I just want to be so immersed in the Word that I can more clearly recognize the times and ways that my life doesn't line up with what I find in the Word. 

Help me, Jesus!

Pearl of Great Price

 This week in atrium I was presenting the parable of the Precious Pearl to one of my children. It's important, in the materials for this parable, that the pearls that the merchant sells and the pearl of great price are the same size. The little girl asked, "why would he sell all these just for this one?" And I said, "Hmm, I wonder. What do you think?" She thought about it for a second and she said, "I would never do that, that's ridiculous!!" And I agree. The God we serve is absolutely ridiculous, outrageous, scandalous in His love for us. Thank you to little Grace for reminding me.

This week in prayer I was thinking about how many modern men think they can get to Heaven by "being a good person." It's very interesting to me that Catholics get accused of believing in works as a means of salvation, when our country, which was founded on Protestant ideals and was actually quite hostile to Catholics, is now full of people who think they'll go to Heaven because they're not Hitler. The Lord reminded me that He came to call sinners, and that only the sick have need of a Physician. "Good" when applied by a man to himself is relative and no one is truly GOOD but God alone. We don't get to go to Heaven by being less bad than Hitler, and we don't get to go to Heaven just by being kind to others. We have to respond to Jesus's invitation to drop our nets and come after Him: to enter into the rest of the Father. 

I'm wrestling a bit with waiting. I feel like I spent all of my 20s waiting for the Lord to reveal my vocation to me. I've tried to spend my 30s so far more concerned with being obedient to the present moment. I want to give the Lord permission to move. I want to get out of His way and see what He can do.