So you all know that I work with a whole bunch of men.
I feel like a lot of the men I know (from outside of the office) would be completely scandalized if they heard how the men at my office talk... to each other, to me, about their wives, about women they hardly know.
Today, two of my teammates had a conversation (which I was obviously listening to as we had just had a conversation about a different topic) that sounded like this:
Guy 1: Oh yeah, ______ (girl's name)... I wonder what she's doing now?
Me: She's a manager in another department.
Guy 1: Oh my gosh what if she became our manager...
Guy 2: Yeah that'd be crazy.
Me: Why? Half of the population is women, you know.
Guy 1: Because she's so hot, that would be awesome.
Guy 2: I don't see what the big deal is, but you would never get any work done.
Guy 1: Yeah so true.... I'd be staring at her ass all the time.
Me: What would your wives think about this conversation?
Guy 2: Oh they don't like it... they know.
Guy 1: Yeah... our wives get mad when we say stuff about women.
Guy 2: Yeah, it's like they actually believe there are men out there who don't do that.
Me: I mean....
Guy 2: See! You're a woman, of course you probably believe that too, but let me tell you.. EVERY guy thinks about this stuff and talks like this.
Guy 1: Yeah our wives are just like you, but let me tell you, I've NEVER met a guy who doesn't.
Relatively speaking, this was a pretty tame, PG Rated conversation compared to the other things I've heard. I don't want to be spoken to or about that way, and I would be even more upset if I heard anyone talking that way about my friends. Why is a woman's body so much more valuable to men than her mind? And for these men who are married, what makes them think that they can objectify another woman and that their wives should be okay with it because they're committed to their wives minds and bodies and souls. Am I the only woman who would be really upset if my spouse made a comment about another woman's body, either to me or to anyone else?!
What really frustrates me is their understanding that this is how it is and has always been, which is used as an excuse to perpetuate it.
So now I'm of course thinking the worst about every guy I know, because here I was all along thinking the men in my office are a particular breed of hedonist. Someone prove me wrong!!!
St. Joseph, pray for us.