I have failed in a lot of my February Resolutions. But I am resolved to do better in March... because, Lent.
The only hit up the gym 6 times so far this month (not going to make it to 12...) and I have been eating well above the recommended daily dose of chicken nuggets.
BUT! I did reconnect with more than 3 people. So, winning. I went to dinner with a new friend twice, called an old friend to catch up, and hung out with some of the college bests this past weekend.
I loved adding the "reconnect" piece to my resolutions for this month. There are many things that I can do on any given day, and for as much as I crave community, it's silly how rarely I reach out. I want to get better!
A few months ago, my spiritual director told me that I needed to learn to live in the moment. I'm sure at some point I prayed for the grace to be able to do that, and I'm sure he's probably been praying for that for me too, because good grief, did God show up in a big way. It's had a bit of a different impact than I expected. My whole life I've been looking forward to the next thing. When I run out of next things to look forward to, I freak out about my vocation or some other equally uncontrollable variable.
Over the past few months, I've felt life slow way down before my eyes. In general, I'm focusing on myself: my laundry gets done, my sheets get washed every two weeks, my ceiling fan gets dusted, I grocery shop and cook, I read, I go to the gym! I pray and I go to Mass a couple times per week. I'm making new friends. I'm doing well at work and keeping on top of things. Things are calm and peaceful. In addition to all of this, I don't feel busy at all. I haven't stopped being busy since I started middle school. It's all so weird.
When I was talking to my spiritual director about this quiet time I'm in the middle of right now, he said it sounded like God was inviting me to work on myself like a project and to become more self aware. I don't even know how to go about tackling the mess that is my soul, except for to start with the things exteriorly that I can control. Well.. I consider the controllables controlled. Now it's time to trudge onward into the depths, I suppose! Pray for me!
Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us!