Let me tell you about the first time I experienced that day.
Like a lot of you... (probably?), I had my first "boyfriend" in middle school. It was ultra lame, of course. We had homeroom together and talked on AIM as soon as we got home from school, the whole shebang. One of our friends had a "party" for 8th grade graduation, and our first kiss was the most awkward thing ever... duh. Anyways, to make a long story short, fast forward to the spring of tenth grade, and things went south between the two of us. I officially pulled the plug because I knew that we were doing things we shouldn't have been doing, and we were treating each other really poorly. We had sorta been on again off again, and I think we were both using each other for different reasons. It was rough on me. I thought I was in love. He still wanted to be friends, it would have made sense... we had ALL the same friends. I knew I couldn't still be friends with him, at least not right away.
A few weeks after our breakup, if you could call it that, I went on a retreat that changed my life. I went to Confession for the first time, probably since second grade, and I realized the joy that could be found in a life with Jesus. My faith was shaky, totally emotional, and completely unaware of the Truth of Jesus in the Eucharist, even after Mass that weekend. But it was real. I knew I was worth more than the way I had been allowing myself to be treated... because this man, who is God, who I didn't even know, gave His life for me on the Cross. A couple weeks after, I had some time to process the things that had happened on the retreat, and I was driving around town, just thinking. (Gas was much cheaper back then.)
I rolled the windows down, and I was listening to this awesome CD that I had made of all my favorite breakup songs, including "My Friends Over You" and "You're So Last Summer." Classic. It was the first warm day of spring. You know that day? This was my first experience with that day. As I was driving around, I realized that I was going to be okay. I was able to look at our relationship objectively and see the reasons why it was bad for me. That was the day that I committed to waiting for marriage, because I knew our breakup would have been much more difficult if we'd had sex.
Now, every spring, (and every time I'm getting over a breakup, haha) I look forward to that day. The first warm day when I can drive around with the windows down and the radio up loud, feeling really alive. Every year when it comes around, I remember that I'm okay. Life is good.
I think that day is coming soon... I'll let you know when it gets here. :)
Thanks for taking a trip down memory lane with me!
Patron or Patroness of Spring, pray for us!
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