22 November 2014


A lot of people my age have crazy desires to travel the world and see the unseen and do the undone. Maybe it isn't just people my age, I'm not sure.

I have those desires too, but they're different, I think. Maybe they're not, maybe I just think they are. 

My roommate from college, Kathlene, and I were on the phone last night. She was telling me about a woman she met who used to work hard, save up a bunch of money, and then set off and travel the world until she ran out of money, then she would come home and start all over. It seems sort of stressful to me, but I'm almost jealous of that life style. As far as the world is concerned, I'm "doing it right." I've got a great career in front of me, I'm working hard to do things like pay off my student loans and save for retirement. But when I stand before the Lord at the end of this life.. will any of that matter?

I think people are searching for something bigger. There' a desire on man's heart to belong to something bigger than himself. As a member of the Universal Church, I realize that desire, and it's already fulfilled, really. I'm a part of an organization, instituted by Jesus Christ, which over the last two millenia is the most charitable, loving, and hospitable institution on earth. She cares for the poor, the downtrodden, the lonely, the oppressed, the powerless, the powerful, the wealthy, the proud, the haughty, the mediocre, the unlovable. She knows the human heart and she loves without bounds. She's not concerned with political correctness or saving face, she's concerned with the eternal soul.

It's an interesting thing, to be an ENTJ and to be so religious. Most of my ENTJ counterparts are athiest or agnostic, or so I've read. I'm also surprised that more of them don't think their way into the faith, like I have. It just makes sense.

People who travel seek to be fulfilled by something outside of themselves. As you can tell from my 30 before 30 list, there are still many places I want to go and see, many things I want to do. Sometimes my wanderlust comes in the form of things that I want to accomplish. Recently I've been thinking about my next intellectual project after the CFP is over in March. I go back and forth between studying for the CFA, going to nursing or medical school, getting an MBA, or even getting a masters in great books. I really love learning, and I love the feeling of accomplishment when something is finished. (Checking a task off of a list.) I wonder if maybe my desire to always be doing something is because I'm not adequately allowing the Lord to fulfill me. 

I want to do it all. In a lot of ways, I still feel like that same bright eyed kid who just left home for the first time. Part of me wonders, though, if I will ever be content. 

St. Cecilia, pray for us!

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